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June 23, 2009
The apostles were a bit thick (Matthew 16)
6 Then Jesus said unto them, Take heed and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.
7 And they reasoned among themselves, saying, It is because we have taken no bread.
8 Which when Jesus perceived, he said unto them, O ye of little faith, why reason ye among yourselves, because ye have brought no bread?
9 Do ye not yet understand, neither remember the five loaves of the five thousand, and how many baskets ye took up?
10 Neither the seven loaves of the four thousand, and how many baskets ye took up?
11 How is it that ye do not understand that I spake it not to you concerning bread, that ye should beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees?
12 Then understood they how that he bade them not beware of the leaven of bread, but of the doctrine of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.
Duh.
*****
11 Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.
12 Then came his disciples, and said unto him, Knowest thou that the Pharisees were offended, after they heard this saying?
13 But he answered and said, Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up.
14 Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.
15 Then answered Peter and said unto him, Declare unto us this parable.
16 And Jesus said, Are ye also yet without understanding?
*****
Which makes me think that if these were the people closest to him and were supposed to spread his word they can't have done that a good a job, can they?
I understand parables are a helpful rhetoric device but you have to know your audience better than that.
Posted by claudia Permalink | Comments (0)
June 22, 2009
More Portogallo
R (still in shock over the low usability level of the Lisbon airport): Your slogan should be "Welcome to Portugal, where we unnecessarily complicate what could be extremely simple."
*****
(comparing passports - forgot to bring reading material for the flight)
The Portuguese Passports
First page has an illustration of a scene from a 500 year old poem glorifying the feats of the Portuguese explorers. The illustration features naked ladies which means that immigration officers in sexually repressed countries usually say "Hmmm, I'll have to take a closer look at this in my office before stamping it. I'll be right back." The naked ladies are a Goddess and her companions who, by swimming alongside it, save a Portuguese ship from the enemy. As in, "Christ! We're lucky the tide turned!". So much for confidence on their sea faring skills.
The American Passport
It's the pocket version of those unbearable motivational posters + cowboy movies cliche imagery. Whenever an american is abroad and is feeling overwhelmed by, say, the portuguese pessimism or general european cynicism, he/she can get a boost in their can-do attitude by opening the passport in a random page and reading some of the inspirational quotes printed above old wild west drawings. You know, stuff like "It seems to be a law of nature, inflexible and inexorable, that those who will not risk cannot win" next to a cactus in a desert.
*****
C: The latest news is that 28 notable economists say that all the big public investment projects should be re-evaluated - as in stopped. You know, the high speed train connecting us to Spain and the rest of Europe, the new and hopefully bigger airport, more highways...
R: Uh? Yeah, isolation will solve all your problems.
******
Trying to get to the check in area in Lisbon Airport. For some unknown reason, you have to cross a security barrier to get to it.
C: Hmm. Check-in counters are in there right?
Security: Yes. You need your ticket in order to get through.
C: My what?
Security: You know, proof you're on a flight today.
C: Well, I won't get that until I check in.
Security: But when you booked it you must have been given a ticket.
C: It's an electronic ticket.
Security: Yes, where's your print out of it?
C: It's an electronic ticket. The point is to not have to print out anything. I show up at the check-in counter, hand them my ID and they give me my boarding pass.
(meanwhile a hundred portuguese people better informed about this silliness and with no love for trees go by me waving around their sheets of paper and being let in)
C (sorry she was too lazy to check in online): Look, I have a flight in 1.5 hours and I need to check in.
Security (condescending): Oh well, ok, but I shouldn't let you. Next time, print your electronic ticket.
C (I'll be damned if I ever check in here ever again): Uh...sure.
*****
First installment here.
Posted by claudia Permalink | Comments (0)
June 06, 2009
So...
...you vote for the UK Independence Party whose main goal is to get the UK out of the European Union. A bunch of their candidates get elected for the European Parliament (I guess they want to work against it from the inside). Four years later they are running again and the UK is still part of the EU. Why would you vote for them again (nevermind that one of their MEP's has been jailed for fraud and another one is under investigation)?
*************
...you are an editor at faber & faber and you have a lot of really great reviews and endorsements by significant publications and authors (like the TLS and Pritchett) on this volume of Flannery O'Connor's Short Stories. Do you REALLY want to print an endorsement by Dean Koontz on a prominent position in the cover? Because if you did this when you were sober and in full control of your mental capacities, I'll probably avoid editions of your books in the future. Please don't sell out like that again.
Can't wait to read what Danielle Steel has to say about the new Ishiguro. Not.
Posted by claudia Permalink | Comments (1)
June 02, 2009
Have I mentioned the weather's great in London right now?
MCCORQUODALE ( pause, weary). In the closet you'll find a rope.
CAULFIELD opens the cupboard.
I bought it a month ago. I intended hanging myself.
CAULFIELD. What stopped you?
MCCORQUODALE. The weather turned nice.
Funeral Games, Joe Orton
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