June 23, 2009
The apostles were a bit thick (Matthew 16)
6 Then Jesus said unto them, Take heed and beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.
7 And they reasoned among themselves, saying, It is because we have taken no bread.
8 Which when Jesus perceived, he said unto them, O ye of little faith, why reason ye among yourselves, because ye have brought no bread?
9 Do ye not yet understand, neither remember the five loaves of the five thousand, and how many baskets ye took up?
10 Neither the seven loaves of the four thousand, and how many baskets ye took up?
11 How is it that ye do not understand that I spake it not to you concerning bread, that ye should beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees?
12 Then understood they how that he bade them not beware of the leaven of bread, but of the doctrine of the Pharisees and of the Sadducees.
Duh.
*****
11 Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.
12 Then came his disciples, and said unto him, Knowest thou that the Pharisees were offended, after they heard this saying?
13 But he answered and said, Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up.
14 Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.
15 Then answered Peter and said unto him, Declare unto us this parable.
16 And Jesus said, Are ye also yet without understanding?
*****
Which makes me think that if these were the people closest to him and were supposed to spread his word they can't have done that a good a job, can they?
I understand parables are a helpful rhetoric device but you have to know your audience better than that.
Posted by claudia Permalink | Comments (0)
June 22, 2009
More Portogallo
R (still in shock over the low usability level of the Lisbon airport): Your slogan should be "Welcome to Portugal, where we unnecessarily complicate what could be extremely simple."
*****
(comparing passports - forgot to bring reading material for the flight)
The Portuguese Passports
First page has an illustration of a scene from a 500 year old poem glorifying the feats of the Portuguese explorers. The illustration features naked ladies which means that immigration officers in sexually repressed countries usually say "Hmmm, I'll have to take a closer look at this in my office before stamping it. I'll be right back." The naked ladies are a Goddess and her companions who, by swimming alongside it, save a Portuguese ship from the enemy. As in, "Christ! We're lucky the tide turned!". So much for confidence on their sea faring skills.
The American Passport
It's the pocket version of those unbearable motivational posters + cowboy movies cliche imagery. Whenever an american is abroad and is feeling overwhelmed by, say, the portuguese pessimism or general european cynicism, he/she can get a boost in their can-do attitude by opening the passport in a random page and reading some of the inspirational quotes printed above old wild west drawings. You know, stuff like "It seems to be a law of nature, inflexible and inexorable, that those who will not risk cannot win" next to a cactus in a desert.
*****
C: The latest news is that 28 notable economists say that all the big public investment projects should be re-evaluated - as in stopped. You know, the high speed train connecting us to Spain and the rest of Europe, the new and hopefully bigger airport, more highways...
R: Uh? Yeah, isolation will solve all your problems.
******
Trying to get to the check in area in Lisbon Airport. For some unknown reason, you have to cross a security barrier to get to it.
C: Hmm. Check-in counters are in there right?
Security: Yes. You need your ticket in order to get through.
C: My what?
Security: You know, proof you're on a flight today.
C: Well, I won't get that until I check in.
Security: But when you booked it you must have been given a ticket.
C: It's an electronic ticket.
Security: Yes, where's your print out of it?
C: It's an electronic ticket. The point is to not have to print out anything. I show up at the check-in counter, hand them my ID and they give me my boarding pass.
(meanwhile a hundred portuguese people better informed about this silliness and with no love for trees go by me waving around their sheets of paper and being let in)
C (sorry she was too lazy to check in online): Look, I have a flight in 1.5 hours and I need to check in.
Security (condescending): Oh well, ok, but I shouldn't let you. Next time, print your electronic ticket.
C (I'll be damned if I ever check in here ever again): Uh...sure.
*****
First installment here.
Posted by claudia Permalink | Comments (0)
June 06, 2009
So...
...you vote for the UK Independence Party whose main goal is to get the UK out of the European Union. A bunch of their candidates get elected for the European Parliament (I guess they want to work against it from the inside). Four years later they are running again and the UK is still part of the EU. Why would you vote for them again (nevermind that one of their MEP's has been jailed for fraud and another one is under investigation)?
*************
...you are an editor at faber & faber and you have a lot of really great reviews and endorsements by significant publications and authors (like the TLS and Pritchett) on this volume of Flannery O'Connor's Short Stories. Do you REALLY want to print an endorsement by Dean Koontz on a prominent position in the cover? Because if you did this when you were sober and in full control of your mental capacities, I'll probably avoid editions of your books in the future. Please don't sell out like that again.
Can't wait to read what Danielle Steel has to say about the new Ishiguro. Not.
Posted by claudia Permalink | Comments (1)
June 02, 2009
Have I mentioned the weather's great in London right now?
MCCORQUODALE ( pause, weary). In the closet you'll find a rope.
CAULFIELD opens the cupboard.
I bought it a month ago. I intended hanging myself.
CAULFIELD. What stopped you?
MCCORQUODALE. The weather turned nice.
Funeral Games, Joe Orton
Posted by claudia Permalink | Comments (0)
April 07, 2009
Monet & Bouguereau
 |
When Claude Monet first put on a pair of glasses he exclaimed: "Good Lord, I see things like Bouguereau!".
Posted by claudia Permalink | Comments (0)
April 04, 2009
Baroque exhibition at the V&A
R: It says here the word "baroque" might come from the portuguese "barroca" which was used to refer to these misshapen pearls. So, your family name means misshapen pearls! That's you, a misshapen pearl!
C: Thanks a lot!
R: Well, you're precious but a little bit weird.
C: .... actually, I like that.
******
R: So this exhibition is about the history of cheesiness?
******
R: Hmmmm. How can you tell the difference between bad baroque art and good baroque art?
Posted by claudia Permalink | Comments (0)
April 03, 2009
Stages of the Annunciation in the Quattrocento
1. Conturbatio/Disquiet
(What are you talking about, I am the favored one? Leave me alone!)
2. Cogitatio/Reflection
(Hmmm, could it be true?)
3. Interrogatio/Enquiry
(But, but, but...I am a virgin and intend to stay a virgin. How am I supposed to become pregnant?)
4. Humiliato/Submission
(Oh well, if you say so, I am the Lord's humble servant)
5. Meritatio/Merit
(aka Annunziata)
Posted by claudia Permalink | Comments (0)
April 02, 2009
Daydreaming
In a perfect world, Kathryn Hunter would be doing a different monologue every week in a theatre near me.
Posted by claudia Permalink | Comments (0)
March 26, 2009
On Gustave's Shelves
Des erreurs et des préjugés répandus dans la société.
Publiés à Paris en 1810 et 1811, par F. Buisson, libraire rue "Gille-Coeur" [Rue Git-le-Coeur], ce sont les oeuvres d'un certain Jean Barthélémy Salgues, né en 1770 et mort en 1830.
Les animaux sont très présents (ce qui est normal, les hommes vivaient en leur compagnie) et doués de pouvoirs mystérieux. Voici quelques unes des interrogations qui hantent les esprits :
- L'araignée annonce t-elle de l'argent ?
- Les abeilles ont-elles un Roi ?
- Les Abeilles piquent-elles de préférence les dames qui manquent à leurs devoirs ?
- Les vieux coqs pondent-ils des oeufs ?
- Les sangsues ont-elles le don de prophétie ?
- Une piqûre de tarentule fait-elle danser comme les meilleurs danseurs de l'opéra ?
From Pages napoléoniennes.
From a bulletin: "En 1853, de plus, Flaubert lit pour Madame Bovary un ouvrage de la bibliothèque paternelle: Des erreurs et des préjugés répandus dans la société, de Jacques-Barthélemy Salgues (Paris, Vve Lepetit, 1811-1813), qui semble avoir inspiré certains articles du Dictionnaire des Idées Reçues."
**********
Hétérogénie; ou, Traité de la génération spontanee, basé sur de nouvelles expériences (1859)
Cet ouvrage est le fruit de trois années d'expériences et de recherches incessantes. Lorsque, par la méditation , il fut évident pour moi que la génération spontanée était encore l'un des moyens qu'emploie la nature pour la reproduction des êtres, je m'appliquai à découvrir par quels procédés on pouvait parvenir à en mettre les phénomènes en évidence : là fut la tache
laborieuse. (...)
La question de la génération spontanée a divisé les savants en deux camps opposés, et les hommes les plus illustres ont pris part aux luîtes animées et incessantes auxquelles ce grave sujet a donné lieu depuis tant de siècles. La victoire est encore indécise; aussi reste-t-il quelque gloire à conquérir pour celui qui la fera pencher de son côté.
Pour nous, nous combattons à l'abri d'une bannière bien respectable et bien imposante, puisque déjà, dans l'antiquité, elle portait les noms d'Anaxagore, de Leucippc, de Démocrite, d'Épicure, d'Aristote, de Pline, de Lucrèce et de Diodore de Sicile; et que depuis la Renaissance jusqu'à nos jours, on a vu successivement inscrire ceux de Rircher, Rondelet, Aldrovande, Matthiole , Fabri , Bonanni, Burnet, Gassendi, Morison, Dillen, BufTon, GuéneaudeMontbéliard, Needham, Priestley, ïngsnhousz, Gleichen, Stenon, Baker, Wrisberg, Fray , Werner, 0. F. Muller, Braun, Pallas, Rudolphi, Bremser, Goeze, Nées d'Esenbeck, Eschricht, Unger, Allen Thomson, de Lamélherie, Cabanis, Lavoisier, Lamarck, Saint- Amans, Turpin Desmoulins, Latreille, Bory Saint- Vincent, Dumas, Dugès, Eudes Deslonchamps, Gros, Tiedemann, Treviranus, Bauer, J. Muller, Burdach...
(I love the "I can't be wrong since all these clever people think like me" argument.)
**********
Voyage du jeune Anacharsis en Grèce, dans le milieu du quatrième siècle avant l'ère vulgaire
En 1788, l'abbé Jean-Jacques Barthélemy (1716-1795), philologue, publia les Les Voyages du jeune Anacharsis en Grèce, un récit de voyage détaillé et érudit décrivant les sites et la géographie de la Grèce classique (une version française de la Description de la Grèce de Pausanias).
Quel vide dans tout ce qu'il fait! que de variétés et d'inconséquences dans ses penchants et dans ses projets! Je vous le demande : qu'est-ce que l homme?
Je vais vous le dire, répondit un jeune étourdi qui entra dans ce moment. îl tira de dessous sa robe une petite figure de bois ou de carton, dont les membres obéissaient à des fils qu il tendait et relâchait à son gré. Ces fils, dit-il, sont les passions qui nous entraînent tantôt d'un côté et tantôt de l'autre; voilà tout ce que j'en sais. Et il sortit.
**********
(found while creating Flaubert's Legacy Library at Librarything; darn George Sand and her overabundant writings, I thought they'd never end)
Posted by claudia Permalink | Comments (0)
March 23, 2009
Quick thoughts and a reading list
 | Expediente del Atentado, Alvaro Uribe I have this feeling only latin americans excel at building narratives around failures. This is a captivating book: an imaginary file of paper clippings, diaries, letters related to the failed murder attempt of Mexico's dictator Porfirio Diaz. It strikes me as a serious, more literary sibling of Jô Soares' Twelve Fingers. Found via Passou. |
 | La petite Bijou, Patrick Modiano It's so sad and beautiful. After reading his bio I have the feeling this is the type of writer who writes the same story over and over again. It becomes more art than literature, if there is such a distinction. Recommended by Amazon.fr through Régis Jauffret's Microfictions. |
 | Beaumarchais in Seville, Hugh Thomas Beaumarchais had such an adventurous life that it's actually possible to write a short book about only a couple of years he spent in Madrid. I wish there were more books like this: edifying entertainment. Found through the LRB's recommended books. |
 | The Civilization of the Renaissance in Italy, Jacob Burckhardt It reads like an old mad professor telling you a bedtime story. This is History pre-"Nouvelle Histoire" and pre-"identification of sources required". My version has no footnotes and more than once I'm amused by the way the author just alludes to people and events as if he's expecting his audience to be perfectly familiar with the more obscure details of his subject. I love it. Where else would I find out about Ferrante of Napoli's room of mummies of his murdered enemies or that Attila was murdered by Dardanus who hit him with a chessboard? And even if this isn't true, I much prefer Burkhardt's version. Found in the National Gallery Bookshop. |
 | Lord Cucumber, Joe Orton and Kenneth Halliwell All I knew about this pair was something about defacing library books, a penchant for dark humor and a real life murder tragedy. This book must be the most highbrow mix of camp and classical british comedy I've ever read. Suffice to say that the characters end up on a cruise of the Odyssey's locations. Classic gay fiction with homeric reference to boot. Seen on the local library shelf. |
Posted by claudia Permalink | Comments (0)
